THE "FREE CREDIT REPORT" LETTER
The mail today brought a window envelope with
a Post Office Box return address - probably from
You are then told how to receive "immediate
access to a free copy of your personal credit report", by logging on to a
computer address. And you are
additionally informed of a toll free number to call, as well as a mailing
address, from which to receive this "free report", in case you don't have
computer service.
Smile!
You've just received the bait from one of the biggest, and most
lucrative, fraud and extortion rackets currently fleecing people in
As is usually true with your friendly little local
collection agency, this scam is owned and operated by shysters. But unlike the
shyster who makes his living bumbling around in your local court system,
getting summary judgments against those who are behind in debt because of lost
jobs, illness, or tragedy, these shysters are ruthless sharks, who, once they
get hold of their prey, take as large a bite as possible to begin with, and
then continue to draw blood as long as the poor fool who gets hooked has a
livelihood, or source of income.
But, we're all very much concerned about our "Credit Rating" today. Aren't we? Of course we are! The new car; the furniture; the vacation
cruise; the house; and everything else we have - or want to have someday - everything hangs on our "Credit Rating".
And "potentially negative items" on our Credit Report can cause us not
only to fail to get what we want, but possibly even to lose something we now
have. And the letter does tell us that
we can "dispute . . . the inaccurate information".
Which phrases at least give us the appearance, and hope, of a way to
straighten out any problems. Don't they?
So, let's turn on the computer, go on line to
the Internet, and bring up the "immediate access". And let's get this matter cleared up as soon
as possible. O.K.?
What's this? "This page is unavailable at present. You may try again at a later time". OH!
Well! I've got business to take
care of; and computers do go off-line at times; so, I'll check my email, and
come back in a while. (In the interest of
saving space, you may consider that sentence, with the same - or any equivalent - end clause you wish, repeated several times, over a period of three to four
days.)
Still "unavailable"! Huh!
Some "immediate access" that is!
Well, let's try the "Home Page", and see what happens.
Too bad, sucker! You just got hooked!
Despite the fact that you were trying to
reach the "Home Page" of a particular Credit Reporting Agency, you find
yourself on a page listing three (3) Companies, only one of which carries the
name on the letter sent you. But, you go
ahead and click on that company's logo anyway, thereby sinking the hook just a
little bit further in.
(I know! I know! By now there's the faint hint of an uneasy
feeling. After all, the three companies
are at least supposedly "independent" credit reporting agencies. But here they are, stacked together on the
same opening "Home Page". But, let's
just take it in sequence. Shall we?)
Nice looking page, with information on how to
get what some States require, i.e. your "Annual
Free Credit Report" - which might be a useful alternative to the "unavailable
page" - with option to click on a request page for "immediate" view. Well, if the page listed in the letter isn't
available; and the Annual Report is also required - as it is by most States -
and it, too is "free", why not go ahead and fill out the form? At least I'll get to see the report; and
maybe even have a chance to find out what those "potentially negative items"
are. Click.
The request form requires Social Security
Number "for verification" - along with the usual data that one would suppose
a Credit Reporting Agency already has, and is using to access something on hand
in files. We fill it out, click on "Next"; and up comes a page of additional "verification questions". Well, after all, we know what we have on
credit and what we don't; so that's easy; and we add the "last four digits of
Social Security Number" - again for "verification" - which naturally match what
is supposedly on our Credit Report,
as well as what we gave on page one of the request form. Next.
"For Security Reasons, we cannot
show you this page. But, you may call
our toll free number (1-800-xxx-xxx) to request a copy, or you may apply by
mail; and you will receive a reply within 10 days."
NOW, JUST A COTTON PICKING MINUTE HERE! You tell me I can have access to the required
Annual Report, by filling out the on-line application; which I do. And then you tell me there are "Security
Reasons" why you can't show me the page!
What's going on with this business!
Where's the customer service hyperlink?
How do I get some response here?
(And we will now all observe a period of respectful silence, while
the flaming eruption simmers down to a slow boil.)
But, the only available
indicators serve only two (2) functions:
You either return to the "Home Page", or are dropped completely off
line. So . . . . Back to the "Home Page": This is now really Page 2, the "information
page" that came after the three stacked company logos. And there we find . . . the barbs on the hook.
No matter how you request the "free report" - State required Annual, or the one advertised in the bait letter - you will be charged a fee! In reality,
the report is placed "on order"; and there is no such thing as "immediate
viewing" on the Internet.
The Credit Reporting Company is, in reality, a
form of "advance fee" extortion. For
$xx.xx per month, you are to receive "Insurance" against problems with credit
reporting. (Shades of the old
Black Hand, and the small merchant's "protection money"!)
(And, this one is really the cream of the crop!) Having been run all round Robin Hood's barn already, you are reminded
of the words at the end of the bait letter sent you in the first place: "If you would like to discuss this
notice, or the information in
your report, you must first obtain a copy of your
personal credit report from . . . (the rip-off joint)".
(Slick job, eh? Sure it
is. After all, it is right out of the
sharpest sharpies in the Thieves Guild - or the lawyer trade, if you prefer
euphemisms. And you can bet your bottom
dollar that the "enforcers" are the best shysters money can buy as well.)
But, what about those "potentially negative
items" that might hurt my credit?
Well, of course, you can always
sign up for that $xx.xx per month "insurance".
That'll make them go away with the first "premium". (And, if you believe that, I have
a bridge I'll sell you my share in, too.)
Till next time then,
Yore Cowlorado Correspondent